The Tai Kwon Do of Humor

I wish, wish, wish I had known about defensive humor in junior high school! I mean who hasn’t tripped in the hallway and sprayed the entire cheerleading squad with books and papers?

You haven’t?

Well, maybe you didn’t carry every one of your textbooks with you to every single class. But you see, my locker was in the far corner of the school, and well, you know what they say, “Go big or go home.”

I guess I went big, since I accessorized with thick glasses, orthopedic shoes, and dental braces -- including external neck band.

No number of dress-for-success strategies could turn that fashion disaster into something cool.

But thank God, for hippiedom! Since my hair grows long, fast; by eighth grade I had mastered the unkempt look. At the start of ninth grade, I upgraded my glasses to wire-rims like Janis Joplin, allowing me to pretend that fashion was beneath my notice.

Ha! So not true. And not very convincing either. So I never achieved my goal of looking down on people who did look put together. But even if I had (and if they had cared what I thought); they would have then needed to retaliate with their own one-upmanship for the sake of their dignity. It could have devolved into a whole fashion-based arms-race.

How much better it would have been to simply laugh at myself and my very human foibles. We all trip, spill, or splat at the most inopportune of moments. The first thing we want to do is to jump up and pretend that it didn’t happen, as the negative self-talk goes full blast, “What a klutz! I can’t believe you did that! How could you have?” and so on.

Anyone who sees someone trip/spill/splat is remembering the last time that happened to them. Not only are they remembering how embarrassed they felt, but they are also remembering their own internal criticism barrage.

The super insecure (like the junior high school set) react by distancing themselves, making fun of the victim to pretend that that sort of thing never happens to them.

But with a few more years of life, most of us accept that that sort of thing does happen to us. Those by-standers feel for you. They want to help, but they don’t want to cause further embarrassment by drawing attention to the moment.

Should they pretend that they didn’t see it? Would it be kind to turn the other way? But what if you are actually injured? Then it would be cruel to ignore you.

In truth, witnesses feel just as awkward as the person who tripped.

So here’s your martial arts of humor move: Stand up. Smile. Take a bow, “I hope you enjoyed the show. The next performance’s at 3:00 pm.”

You’ll not only rescue your own dignity, you’ll also give witnesses permission to acknowledge what has just happened.

What if you actually are injured? In that case, stay on the ground. Say, “You know, this wasn’t on my to-do list for today.” In this kind of situation, the tension is so high, that any light-hearted quip is hilarious.

Once you acknowledge the situation and convey that it is not a life-ending disaster, witnesses are overcome with relief and know what to do. They can help. They can laugh. They can forgive themselves for the last time they looked foolish.

Making the moment into a shared comedic experience is the Tai Kwon Do of humor. You’ll make everyone feel better.

Photo by Thao Le Hoang on Unsplash